Decisions can stay with us for a lifetime
Tim Merris
Sometimes we make decisions based on need rather than logic.
Recently, my 96 year old mother-in-law Lillie, passed away. She was born and raised in Pennsylvania and that is where she spent her entire life.
She raised three daughters; two moved away and started their own families in different states. The family is quite close and family get-togethers were quite common several times a year. Lillie was loved by all and was very close to her seven grandchildren and 12 great grandchildren. The service and funeral were held in her hometown of Schuylkill Haven over spring break and 125 family and friends were expected to attend. The two daughters and four of the grandchildren are from out of state. One of the grandchildren had planned and paid for a spring break cruise vacation with his wife and two children. He paid $4,000 in advance for the trip.
This is where the decision that can stay with you for life comes into play. He decided to forego the service and funeral and take his planned vacation.
He is a good man and, truth be known, is the golden boy of the family. He has always been an exemplary husband, father, son and grandchild to the family. He is a commercial pilot and took over his father’s business after he passed away four years ago.
I got to know him while working a part time job 32 years ago and he introduced me to his aunt and we have been married for 29 years. He is a very gentle, kind and understanding man and has very strong feelings about right and wrong. If anyone in the family ever needed anything, he was the first to help.
I believe he made the wrong choice here. His reasoning was that he would lose the $4,000 if he canceled the cruise since Lillie passed only days before he and his family were to embark. His other reason was it was spring break and his kids were looking forward to the vacation for several months.
The fact of the matter is, his mother and father had bought and paid for a cruise on the same cruise line before his father became quite ill several years ago. His father was unable to go on the cruise and subsequently, his mother contacted the carrier who gave her an 18 month extension. When that was brought up, the grandson used the spring break justification.
My point to the whole story is, death is a final and everlasting event in one’s life. The grandson and his family will never be able to say goodbye and more importantly, pay their respects to this loving and caring grandmother that was always there for him and more importantly, his children.
I believe in paying last respects. The words last respects are exactly what they mean. All of us in the family, sacrificed in some way or another to make the journey and pay our last respects. My wife’s son is a professional caddy at an exclusive golf club and doesn’t get paid if he doesn’t caddy. This is the height of the season and he averages $300 to $500 a day when he works. He lost out on $1,200 to $1,500 in wages he’ll never recover, but he didn’t complain nor did he ever consider not being there. Her other son is a Paramedic/Fire Fighter here in Grand Junction. He has five children and had worked his schedule so he could take five days off during spring break and had several day trips and activities planned with his kids. He too dropped everything and was there to pay his respect.
I know the grandson will regret his decision someday and it will live with him for the rest of his life because that is the kind of person he is. He made a financial choice with his head.
This is undoubtedly one of life’s many decisions that, if not made correctly, can last a lifetime.
The lesson here is, consider all of the ramifications when making emotional decisions and don’t let greed cloud your judgment. Make such decisions with your head and your heart.
